thumBELLina
by Georgiana1234
Summary: Bella finds herself in a tricky situation when one night a peice of inocent toast and chutney goes horribly wrong.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: This is a very short chapter but people who read my fanfictions regularly will know that I detest starter chapters though this one was quite fun to write. I know I haven't been writing for a while but a gigantic rhino stole my laptop and sent it cascading down the windy rapids of the north and it floated back to me only this morning when I was standing on Blackpool pier admiring two seagulls as the waltzed in pink and blue party frocks i.e. I have been too lazy to update any of my chapters. Enjoy this new ff and please review!**

**Chapter One**

Bella and Edward lay snuggled up in Bella's tiny single bed one Friday night. Edward hands encircled Bella waist and his head was buried into her hair. Bella sighed, she was in heaven.

Gurgle, gurgle, gurgle. The strange sound reverberated through the small room. Edward frowned. Gurgle, gurgle, gurgle. Bella bit her lip, trying to pretend that she hadn't heard it, Edward chuckled.

"Sounds like someone's hungry." He squeezed her and Bella let out a squeak.

"No I'm not." Edward squeezed her again and there was another gurgling chorus.

"I'll go get you something." Bella clutched at his shirt, trying to hold him back; she didn't want the perfect moment to be spoiled. Edward smiled again, removing her hands, and proceeded out of the door. Bella smiled to herself and snuggled into her pillow; she was actually quite hungry.

Meanwhile downstairs Edward popped a piece of white bread in the toaster (he had watched Bella do this a thousand times) and opened a cupboard above him. He stared in, hoping to find something familiar to flavour the toast with. Strawberry Jam? Marmalade? What the hell were these things? He sighed and pulled out a jar from the very back of the cupboard. If he had read the label he would have seen that it read "Charlie's chutney." though even if he had it probably would not have saved Bella from her fate. A minute later the toast sprung out and landed neatly on the plate Edward held out for it and he happily began to spread copious amounts of "Charlie's Chutney" on it without a care in the world. A minute later he present Bella with the plate and she took it happily while he sprung back into bed with her. She sniffed at the substance on the bread.

"Edward what is this?" she asked him, he looked up, casting his mind back to the labels on the hundreds of jars.

"Er. . .Marmeljam." he said hesitantly, Bella smiled and took a bite.

The moment Bella took a bite she screamed. Edward's hand flew to him mouth immediately, jolting Bella and causing the toast to fly through the air and hit the ceiling with a splat and stay there. Bella and Edward gazed up at and shrugged, snuggling back down together. Bella didn't know what made her scream, neither did Edward come to think of it but they both pretended quite happily that it hadn't happened. Bella swallowed he mouthful of the foul mixture which tasted of a mixture of off-milk and ginger, if you can imagine that sensation.

Edward closed his eyes, wondering about humans and food and screaming and such related topics. After about fifteen minutes when his thoughts had flowed into "Why does Carlisle hang one painting up-side-down in his study?" he opened his eyes to ask Bella the question and he nearly screamed. She was gone.

"Bella?" he half screamed half whispered into the silent house, there was no reply. Edward ran his fingers through his hair frantically, he stared under the bed, he opened the wardrobe, he ran at lightning speed through every room in the house upturning hem in turn but to now avail.

"You lost her?" Edward flinched, Alice looked even more scary than the time Edward had told her that Jasper had dyed his hair black and travelled halfway across the country to go to a concert on they're anniversary. I have to point out that it was to save a certain someone (I think you can guess who) from being forced to move to Manchester, but that's another story.

"I can't believe you lost her!" Alice rung her hands and tore at her already miniscule skirt.

"Calm down Alice." Jasper said.

"I WILL CERTAINly not calm down." She trailed off and Jasper winked at Edward. Edward did not return the wink but buried his head into the back of the sofa.

Bella meanwhile was not as Alice would put it "lost" ; she was sitting right where Edward left her, although her hair now would put Russell Brand to shame and she had a large bruise on her left cheek where Edward's finger had it her as he had been ravishing the bed. Oh and I should point out something else, she was now the height of a person's thumb.


	2. Chapter 2

"So I'm tiny

**Chapter Two**

"So I'm tiny." Thought Bella, "That's new" She bounced along on the mattress noticing how springy it was at this miniscule size. However after about five minutes of that she became very bored and looked around for something to do, unfortunately she saw nothing so she crawled over to the edge of the bed and peered down to the distant wonder which was her floor. "I've jumped off a cliff, I can survive this." She thought but reminded herself that wood is much more solid than water. With a rush of happiness she noticed a folded towel that she had cleverly dropped by the bed in her hast to jump into Edward's arms. Ahhh...Edward, she was distracted for a moment but then brought herself back to the task in hand. Well there was one thing in all of this; out of all the times her mother had told her to hang up her towel and "Get into good habits" she was glad she had ignored her every time. She chuckled. She could probably jump that distance, she might not break any bones, maybe. She bent her knees to jump but before she could jump Edward walked into her room. Bella looked up at his face, now miles above her.

"Edward!" she squealed, surprised at how squeaky her voice was all of a sudden. "Down here!" Edward looked around, where was that annoying little squeaking sound coming from? He thought and went to check the hinges of the door.

"No!" Bella screamed "Down here! I'm over here Edward." He shrugged, still looking around desperately for his lost girlfriend. He sighed and came to sit next Bella on the bed; she had to run in an effort not to be squashed. He put his head in his hands and Bella had an idea. If only she could get up to Edward's ear, she could whisper in his ear and then he would know that she was now a human pipsqueak. 

Bella hitched herself up onto Edward's belt which was about a Bella-metre up from the mattress and grabbed a handful of his shirt. Edward straightened up, was there a fly on his back? Bella tumbled back onto the bed, rolling away in a ball. She straightened up, a determined frown adorning her face which was now the size of a drawing pin and marched towards Edward grabbing hold of his belt once more and pulling herself up, she grabbed his shirt and pulled herself up, her legs hung limply below her. Unfortunately for Bella at that moment Edward decided that he would go and search the house again and rose from his sitting position on the bed. This put poor Bella in a very difficult position as she dangled about 50 ft above the very solid floor. 

Alice was a sensible girl. She had studied physics at university, written award winning papers of the conservation of energy in the universe and almost thought up string theory twenty years before anyone was supposed to. She was rational, logical and reasonable and she therefore refused to believe that a by no means small (well in Alice's eyes anyway) eighteen year old girl had just ceased to exist in a small suburban house in Washington (an opinion not shared by Edward who was quite comfortable in believing that some force in the universe just decided he wasn't aloud to have her anymore, Edward was not rational at the best of times) 

On entering Bella's apparently empty bedroom she stomped her foot causing the house to shake to its foundations. At this point the very forces of physics which she had been clutching to chose this moment of desperation to play a trick on Alice Cullen. 

"Ewwwwww." Alice intoned as she removed the sticky toast, which had just fallen from apparently nowhere onto her head. Charlie's Chutney oozed all over her hands and dripped into her neat coiffure from the greasy patch on the ceiling. Alice looked up and received a face full of the stuff (Edward did not believe in food in moderation). "EWWWWW!" Alice squealed followed by a terrifying scream which Edward heard from across the house (even though he had his head in the washing basket…don't ask) and everything went black.

**AN: Ok so that was a bit cliché or perhaps it is classic, yeah, if it's not broke don't fix it right? …..REVIEWS PEOPLE PLEASE!! Ok so that was a little sad….but I am sad….good point… I am talking to myself…eh, shrug, what ya gonna do? No one is reading this anyway it's just an author's note, which I think is bad cos I could say something really wise and it would be lost to you people! Like…well I can't think of anything at the moment but there could have been some philosophical gold and you would never know, well I guess YOU would cos you're reading this but…ok now I've confused myself….geez not again!**


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